Umm I'm too high to move.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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