with your own penis?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
