yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
