Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
