It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
