that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I need moral support for this bender
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
