PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize