It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
