It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
