Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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