Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Pooping to opera.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
