9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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