the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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