people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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