THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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