I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
