I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
