'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
