Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
