I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
