what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
