Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize