Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
