Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
