I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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