Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
