i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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