You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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