i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
