hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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