Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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