i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
