Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
