in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
