mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
