I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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