Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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