So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize