i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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