note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
