I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
dude. I can hear the air.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
