I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize