You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
