just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
