he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
