....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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