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cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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