Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them

Fav 2 825 2307
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

Fav 18 2046 5326
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.

Fav 6 1286 3238
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.

Fav 2 3503 1527
share tweet
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Read it at the TFLN blog
(765): View more from Indiana

We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?

Fav 15 1582 3017
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

Fav 6 2313 1707
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

Fav 7 2631 834
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won

Fav 1 319 193
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot

Fav 0 68 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT