Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
