I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
