I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny