I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix