I faked an abortion last night.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
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Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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