I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
