Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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