TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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