so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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