ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
