I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
