i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
