Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
