Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
