True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Never joke about your clitoris.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize