it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
