3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
