nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
