I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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