What did we do last night that was yellow?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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