Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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