it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize