i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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