oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you win again, gameday.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Randomize
